HMD

[not_like_the_rest]

Hello! Tell me how I am doing.

No flames, just constructive crit.

I am always open to how to better Johanna, so even tips is great! Thank you!

~Lulu

Comments

[huntersdaughter]

Hi!

I've seen you tagging around a lot and I am not sure if anyone has addressed this topic with you, but after seeing your most recent post to the main community of Paradisa, I figured it couldn't hurt.

I think that you should try to figure out which [bracket] style you prefer the most and stick with it. Reading your threads, which I have done because of close CR, I have seen the method of this swap a lot - even within the same thread. It goes from parenthesis to bracket to asterisks - which can be confusing and difficult to read. Also, by not differentiating your narration/action with Italics or making it smaller, it can also create a bit of trouble when trying to read. Especially, if a bracket ending gets dropped off.

For example:

[Walks ahead of the group, looking backwards.]

Hey, you're going too slow!

----

[Walks ahead of the group, looking backwards.]

Hey, you're going too slow.

----

[Walks ahead of the group, looking backwards.]

Hey, you're going too slow.

----

You can see how the actual spoken part of the tag is easier to see, and the action - the part that really is meant for direction or to show insight (though not for IC knowledge) is downplayed. I'm sure you can also see how a dropped bracket isn't as big of a deal when the HTML is there to differentiate between action and dialog.

I think that you would benefit from picking which one you prefer and sticking with it.


Also, the main community of Paradisa is not intended to have standard prose in it. Prose is mainly placed in the paradisalogs community - specifically for the reasons I stated above. It's very hard to figure out when looking at your post while skimming the main community of Paradisa what is spoken and what is not - just at a glance. Originally, the main community was for journal entries only. No room filters/action to start were meant to go in the community. While, it has gotten a lot more relaxed about action/room filters - I know that I've never seen prose dropped into a journal entry in the main comm before, and I've been in the game for almost 4 years.

I'm not asking you to change that post, for the record, but just to keep it in mind for the future.

I just know from experience, if you're looking to gain more CR, having a post that is spaced out and easy to read the text parts of, in the main comm, are always a benefit to you. People can then scroll by looking for something for their character to connect to and if your post is easy to read, it will be easy for them to reply to.

Thanks for reading this and I do hope that it helps you in the future.

[not_like_the_rest]

Thanks for the crit. That was the fist post I have made where I have done it in that style. Not really sure why I did it, just did.

As for the bracts, I change the style from ( to [ because I am changing devices and my cell phone is a brat.

I have been RPing for over 8 years, so thanks for the CR advice but I am okay.

[huntersdaughter]

I can understand that it is difficult to reply using a cellphone, but perhaps if you can't be consistent you shouldn't tag from your phone. It gives the appearance, much like your brushing off of my suggestions, that you don't care about the quality of your RPing.

I took the time to offer up advice that was intended to help you, not hinder you or be an annoyance, but your reply definitely feels as though you've viewed my opinion as an annoyance.

Even if you've been RPing for 8 years, the rushing of your tags, the typos that come from replying via your cellphone, and the inconsistent style of brackets are still a concern that I know other players have. I just was the one that opted to approach you personally.

[not_like_the_rest]

I do care, but no mater how hard I try I will always have trouble with spelling. It's my disability and I really don't care to defend myself to you for that. Yeah, you hit a sore spot with me and I don't appreciate the way you felt the need to spell things out for me. I am a 27 year old adult. If you wanted to tell me something in a personal manner, try not acting like a teacher. I don't rush my tags, I am just not always home so I use my cell phone at times. Sometimes I just don't want to be on my laptop anymore either, so that's when I use my cell phone.

[huntersdaughter]

If you brought your age up in some attempt to make me feel as though I was behaving like a child for coming to you with a valid concern, I'll go ahead and let you know that I'm thirty-four. I have been RPing for 8 years as well, through varied formats, and it is a constant learning experience for me.

I apologize if you felt like my approach was spelling it out for you, but I have learned that it is often easier to approach simple suggestions like this without any emotion attached. It comes across far more as advice instead of someone being annoyed by a behavior.

I provided examples, because I know that seeing it laid out in such a manner can make it very clear the visual difference between how a tag looks in the varied formats. It can be helpful just to be able to compare them right on top of each other.

We all make mistakes in our writing. I still have issues with my comma placement, but the point is that people came to me about it and have tried to help me. I believe I have improved a great deal, because I have taken extra time to look at things and try to do what I can to fix my comment before I post it.

This is your HMD post and it does plainly state that you want to know how you are doing. That was all I felt I was doing. There is no flaming and no actual character crit that I can offer, as I am canon blind. I was simply stating a format issue and by bringing it to you, personally, I felt it was better serviced than taking it to any other avenue where it might not be viewed at all.